“Chillin”: The Columbus Chill Music Video

“Chillin”: The Columbus Chill Music Video

WHAT: Columbus Chill music video

WHEN: March 4, 1993

WHERE: Columbus, Ohio

WHO: The 1992-1993 East Coast Hockey League Columbus Chill players and uhhhh “musicians”

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: The Columbus Chill were a minor league hockey team from 1991-1999. I can’t say I have too many personal memories of them other than going to one game some time in the mid 90’s. Not sure of exactly when, late enough in the decade that I remember watching Little Giants in the van on the way to the game. I don’t recall much about the game other than winning some promotional video because my program had a winning coupon in it. It’s all about remembering the important things. They do make for a mean retro t-shirt when you’re eating a chocolate-covered banana at the zoo.

brett-chill

Everyone remembers or has at least heard of the Super Bowl Shuffle One could make the argument that it uhhh, hasn’t aged well but 30 years will do that to anything. What most people don’t remember is that nearly every sports team thought they could replicate the Super Bowl Shuffle in the subsequent years after its release. Even minor league hockey teams.

Now, I can’t say I have any personal recollection of today’s video when it originally appeared, but I do remember the Chill being a somewhat big deal in Columbus growing up. Others would have greater historical context than me but obviously they were big enough to the point it played at least somewhat of a factor in the city getting a major league franchise (CARRY THE FLAG). With them being a big deal came the promotional pushes. And with that came today’s video, “Chillin'”.

If you do a YouTubes search for the Chill you certainly get some interesting results but this one in particular tickled my fancy. Let’s go to the tape.

 

0:01-0:10

chill backwards hat.gif

Backwards hat host introducing the clip, he’s almost gone full Poochie. I think he needs a *little* more attitude.

poochie.gif

O yeah, that’s it, I love it.

0:11-0:19

If you don’t know, now you know, the Columbus institution, the indomitable Colleen Marshall of NBC4. Colleen’s been rockin’ since 1984 and hasn’t slowed up since. Surely she remembers this music video intro as one of her top journalistic moments.

colleen marshall.gif

0:20-0:27

“Featuring the Men of Leisure with Tony McLung, recorded at Metropolis Studies in downtown Columbus.”

I have no proof of the Men of Leisure existing beyond this clip from 10 years ago of them at Comfest, a festival of HIPPY FOLK every summer. Also, no evidence of a Metropolis Studios in downtown Columbus. It’s this kind of hard-hitting investigative journalism for which you come to this blog. Steve Kroft got nothin’ on me.

0:30

saxaphone.png

Fun fact: Every song between 1990-1995 featured this saxophone. Yes, every song, even Smells Like Teen Spirit, you just have to listen real close. But full credit to this guy, scientists have shown that 99.7% of people look uncool on an ice rink with no skates on so to be able to rock the sax in that kind of compromised position is no small feat.

0:32

squad goals.gif

#SquadGoals

0:39-0:41

chill window.gif

Our protagonist will use this part of the video to coldly detail all the problems he has with the children on his lawn. They weren’t chill.

0:48-0:51

chillin black and white.gif

Lou Pearlman was said to have been watching this NBC broadcast that sprouted the boy band idea that would land him millions. And in federal prison.

0:52-0:59

chill weird graphic.gif

Alright, someone that understands early 90’s graphics will have to explain this effect to me. I’m not really sure what our protagonist was going for here. Did he double himself to create the effect he was going to to the game with a friend rather than by himself? Was he trying to represent some sort of multiverse in which his other dimension self still goes to Chill games by himself? I’m not falling down this rabbit hole so instead I’ll talk about the “old Coliseum” our guy references.

taft coliseum.jpg

Some might know it as Taft Coliseum, I call it church. The Coliseum rests on the Ohio State Fairgrounds and housed the Columbus Chill during their tenure. It will be 100 years old next year and is more commonly used for livestock shows during the fair. They used to play high school basketball tournament games there and when I was growing up they might as well have been playing them in the Superdome. The sight lines were terrible, there were no good seats close to the floor and balls that went out of bounds would sometimes travel about 300 yards because of all the open space. But dammit that place was beautiful. It officially went over the top for me a few years ago when I was at the fair and they were hosting semi-pro wrestling. We were walking around the building and saw a half dozen wrestlers standing outside smoking some squares in their full get-ups while propping the door open with a championship belt. You’re not seeing that happen at Madison Square Garden.The fact it’s not on the National Register of Historic Places is an affront of the highest order. I might have to take up the cause myself.

1:00-1:04

chill eyeballs.pngchill white face.png

SEE YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARES.

1:07-1:10

chill blood.gif

The ice will run red with the blood of our opponents. Or at least a sort of magenta-fuchsia combo.

1:22-1:24

chill columbus 90s.gif

It doesn’t get much more Columbus 90’s than this 2.5 second gif. You’ve got Big Bear, Damon’s, and a guy that is way too excited for a fight occurring in front of him. Shoutout to Damon’s, the most 90’s restaurant that ever existed for keeping me fed during the Columbus blizzard of March 2008. Me and my roommate Kyle didn’t prep for the snow too well so we had no food and couldn’t drive anywhere after it hit, which didn’t really matter because everything was closed. Except Damon’s. Waffle House ain’t got nothin’ on them.

1:30-1:31

chill beach ball.gif

I’m usually a grump on most fan activities that happen during the course of game action. Namely the wave. I will run on a campaign platform of getting the Taft Coliseum its proper due and abolishing the wave. Can’t miss.

We can’t get rid of the wave but yet you never see a beach ball anymore. In my day you could hit the hell out of that thing all you wanted until some soul crushing usher came along and popped it with all their pent up rage. I can remember it being our biggest source of entertainment during the second half of a 1997 Ohio State-Wyoming game. Trade the wave for the beach ball straight up, WHO SAYS NO?

1:38

chill beat drops.gif

It’s lit.

1:41-1:43

chill saxaphone.gif

All that’s missing:

jazzman.gif

1:47

chill beer.gif

Geez, where the party at? My brother got invited to take a limo and sit in a box seat (although I don’t really know what a box seat would consist of at a Chill game) for his friend’s birthday once and I remember being way more jealous than I should have been. They probably got those beers. Damn them.

1:51-1:52

chill slappin bass.gif

O ok.

1:53-1:54

chill flaming stick.gif

Flaming stick! I mean, try telling me hockey wouldn’t double, nay, triple ratings with flaming sticks. We at least got halfway there with the glowing puck.

1:58-2:02

“Between the pipes they got this Russian dude, Sergei says nyet, he’s not being fooled.”

Who knew we had a prophet in our midst?

sergei.jpg

2:03-2:07

chill bad goalie.gif

Now I am uh, far far far away from a hockey expert but isn’t that goalie just a bit ridiculously far out even for a minor league team? Going for the slide tackle? Is that what it’s called in soccer? (I’m no footy expert either). Whatever, either way I say BAD FORM.

2:17

best-columbus-sport

And you thought the hot take society only existed in the Internet era.

 

 

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