23. Major League II
Sigh. As an Indians fan and someone that feels the original Major League is the peak of cinematic art, I am contractually obligated to include the sequel in this list. And it’s not *all* bad. I mean, I can’t act like I haven’t seen this 347 times. The gang’s back together! Sort of! Not Wesley Snipes! But there’s new guys!
Outside of a few new characters all you really need to know about the sequel is it being a bastardized version of the original, this time focusing more on Charlie Sheen than Tom Berenger. Turns out using a “make sure the cue cards are riiiight where I need them” Charlie Sheen might not have been the best idea. Which is pretty funny considering there’s a whole wonderful commercial sequence where Wild Thing can’t get his lines right.
Don’t get me wrong, I subscribe to the early to mid-90s Charlie Sheen catalog, if only as a salute to Lloyd Bridges, our one true president.
And hey, like the original, at least they get the ending right with a Tribe W. Nothing will put a pep in your step quite like a Tribe W.
Most Valuable Character: James Gammon as Manager Lou Brown
In my mind, really the MVP of the first Major League as well. There’s not one disappointing scene with him in either, as you could stick him in the dugout of any team and I’d be like “Yeah sure that’s the grizzled manager.” Lou gets the boot for a good portion of the sequel when he has a heart attack and Jake Taylor takes over the team. Just add it to the list of how this rendition comes up short. While showing Lou in the hospital sneakily listening to the game in the hospital while a BBC drama plays on the TV was the perfect recipe for disaster, “I love this shit I may move to England” is still frequently brought up in the Gates text chain when the sports are getting good.
The Vice President to my Lloyd Bridges President.
Most Disappointing Character: Alison Doody as Rebecca Flannery
Remember Rick Vaughn’s girlfriend in this one? Me neither! I remember him dumping her when he catches her talking crap behind his back but the fact she was also his agent definitely escaped me. Quite the impression. Really this should just go to Rick Vaughn but hey variety is the spice of life.
Rube Baker: Wow, Willie’s really got some power.
Lou Brown: Off a guy who’ll be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks.
Maybe not the most memorable but my personal favorite as it can apply to the whole rainbow of sports observances. Ohio State beats Rutgers? “Off a guy who’ll be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks.” Golfer wins the John Deere Classic? “Off a guy who’ll be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks.” Air Bud beats a bunch of unsuspecting children? You get the picture.
Best Scene (12:45-13:02):
Harry Doyle succumbs to the devil’s water, forcing our hero, Monty the Color Man into action and he doesn’t disappoint.
Our Secretary of State in the Bridges/Brown regime.